Life Is Changing

It's been over 2 and a half years since I originally started this blog, and certainly it hasn't been fluent, as I have been very inconsistent with making post, I retired for a while and then I came back, but then I kinda didn't really post at all, then I made another comeback which well, ended almost 7 months ago and while many things have changed in all that time, many have stayed the same. Since starting this blog, the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, I've joined the 30+ club, Twinkies went away, then they came back, the space shuttle program was shut down, I gave up drinking, I started drinking again and I'm sure plenty of other billions of things that I'm not mentioning. Meanwhile, sky is still blue, the earth is still round, water is still wet, I'm still chasing after my dream girl, whoever that maybe if she even exists, I'm still representing the gangstas all across the world, still hitting them corners in the low lows girl, still taking the time to perfect that beat and I still got love for the streets. Ok, some of those last things might have been Snoop and Dre from 14 years ago, which I actually don't know if they are still doing, Snoop Lion, what the hell is that? and where the hell is Detox Dre? Where the hell is Detox? It's becoming the new Chinese Democracy. Sorry, got side tracked, which I still do all the time, but there was a point to all this and that is this: "Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional" which is a quote from John C. Reilly, no wait, sorry John C. Maxwell, or maybe I saw John C. Reilly play John C. Maxwell in a movie, either way, the point is made and a good one. So, the biggest change coming for me in the blog era is my move back to Needham, so while that is change from living in Brighton, not sure it's growth, but sometimes you have to take a step back in order to get a better view of what is in front of you before you can move forward. Kinda at a crossroad right now and we'll see what happens, but feel like there needs to be some major changes, especially with things that have just been stagnant, shit or get off the pot, am I right? But there is a reason for this post, and it's not really to discuss the future, it's to celebrate the past and take a look back at The Kilsyth Years:

95 Kilsyth Road, Apt 1, Brighton MA

Well, Wonder Years, close enough, by the way, speaking of dream girls earlier, Winnie Cooper, come on, yeah, and she's still hot, I may have already covered this before, I'm not sure, but either way, meanwhile her real life sister who played Becky Slater on the show, not so much. Sorry, totally got sidetracked there, see still happens. Anyway, let's jump in the old wayback machine and take a trip down memory lane, let's start all the way back in the year 2010. Now, some of you may know this and some of you may not, but I wasn't always supposed to move into 95 Kilsyth, in fact it was an already establish living place for about a month prior to me moving in on Saturday October 2nd, and the debauchery began almost immediately, within minutes of officially moving in I was handed a beer, of which I arrived with many and was getting drunk on The Porch and pregaming for Harpoonfest, something that would become an all too common occurrence over the next almost 3 years. Also hung out with a lot of cool people during this time many of which I met for the first time at Kilsyth, some despite them knowing some of my friends for many years prior, apparently I didn't get out much before moving to Kilsyth, many of these people I met early on in my Kilsyth experience at our housewarming party where I proceeded to get iced with a a 22 of Smirnoff Ice, then was on the beer pong table for like an hour, then passed out and missed half the party. To this day, I still can't keep their names straight, "So, wait, your Pan and she's Pam. Oh there is no Pan, well then who the hell was I just talking to, and how am I supposed to cook these pizza bites? Wait, there's no Pam either, well then these pizza bites are getting stuck to whatever we end up cooking them on." Ok, so that conversation probably didn't go down like that and I may have changed the names to protect the innocent or not so innocent in some cases, Flair and Jim know what I'm talking about and don't get me started on Jan who thought that I was Craig and years later would fall into a cooler, none of them are probably reading this anyway. We did have plenty of other parties, that I didn't pass out and miss half of though, and some of the people at those parties that I met, I might have actually kept their names straight or possibly not, who the hell knows, but as time went on I got better at parties, just needed to figure it out. Over the years we had countless parties, didn't matter if they were planned or not, or even imaginary. Super Bowl Party, Day Before Super Bowl Party For No Apparent Reason where keys ended up in the freezer, Rapture Party, Reunion Pregame Party, Halloween Party, Classy Party, Quatro de Mayo/Kentucky Derby/ One Fund Benefit aka Cinco de Derby or Quatro de Cinco for those AD fans out there, Pauly Shore Day, Carl Weathers Day, Cuba Gooding Jr Day, Urban Ladies tribute to Black History Month, Fantasy Sports Draft Parties, Portions of a Bachelor Party, Second Saturday, three, count them, three Yankee Swaps, Birthday Parties, Birthday Party After Parties, Frankenstrom Party, Blizzard Parties, Hurricane Parties, Tornado Party, Lockdown Party, ok maybe those last 5 weren't exactly parties, but all those things did take place while we were living there. These parties don't even include the random, just for the hell of it Porch Parties that we were always having, in fact The Porch is gonna get it's own section.

THE PORCH

Fewer places could bring so much joy, so much happiness, so much drunkenness, so much everything and more. If you never experienced The Porch, well, I just feel sorry for you, it was like a stroll down the beach on a perfect summer evening with a beautiful sunset in the distance and that guy/girl that you love holding your hand, I'm guessing, that's never happened to me, I've witnessed others doing this as I've taken my dog for a walk at the same time and probably ruined their moment, but I could imagine what it would be like. Except instead of sunset it's sunrise, cause it's 5:30 in the morning and you are still cranking some classic rock and slamming down beers, you're drunk out of your mind, the fridge has only those random beers that no one knows whose they are or how long they have been there and you decide, yeah, maybe it's time to stumble to bed, except you are still up in Tollbooth Willie and you can't for the love of God get past that toll, and maybe that guy/girl that you love isn't there or maybe doesn't exist, but your best friends in the world are belting out some Van Halen with you, while the neighbors from upstairs or somewhere you can't even see them are yelling at you to shut up. But that's not even where the glory that is The Porch lies, it lies in the fact that at 5:30 in the afternoon the day before you went out there to have a couple drinks to pregame before you made your way out for the night, and that my friend became your night, and it was probably better than anything else you could have done that night and you loved every minute of it and didn't regret it at all. That was what The Porch was all about, The Porch didn't judge you, The Porch loved you and gave you that sense that things were going to be OK. Wow, I just got a little emotional there, I need to regroup myself, here watch a video:

Ok, I'm good. The Porch had everything you could ever want, Lights, Table, Chairs, Bar, Grass, HDTV with cable, Music, Dancing, Singing, a Grill. Sure when it rained it would get really wet and not be usable, but hey, life isn't all butterflies and rainbows, occasionally you couldn't use The Porch cause it was covered in snow or it was freezing, but when you could you would take full advantage of it. The different games that we played out there, Slap Cup, Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Civil War, Three Man and countless hours of Tollbooth Willie and other card games. I could go on and on about The Porch, and I already have, and I will more, did you know that The Porch has it's own Facebook page? you didn't? well what the hell is wrong with you? You should have already liked it ages ago, shame on you. Jerry Gunastretchuout Jones likes it and that's really the only endorsement that you could ever need. Ok, I think I've said enough about The Porch, honestly probably could have done a whole blog post just on The Porch, but at the end of the day Kilsyth and The Porch go hand and hand, so it had to be this way. But there was more craziness that didn't just involve The Porch.

95 Kilsyth had it fair share of everything, there were plenty of laughs, and yes while many of these were due to the gasleak that we were convinced that we had and the countless hours of watching Channel 8 due to said gasleak, which by the way just in case you aren't aware, there are no rules in a gasleak, there were plenty of other things that took place in our years there. Whenever I wasn't ranting and raving like a drunk lunatic at 3 in the morning for whatever reason, and yes typically it was due to failing miserably with some lady I was attempting to woo, but not always I often had other reasons but sometimes there was just no rational reason at all (and as a side note, if you for whatever reason have not had the pleasure of listening and watching one of my rants, you are missing out, I'm actually a little concerned about what is going to happen now that I'm going back to Needham, not sure who I'm gonna be able to rant to anymore, this could cause some issues as I may end up exploding due to not unleashing the rant within. Also, when I typically rant, usually there is a little bit of humor in it, as I don't really get angry, rarely do I ever get actually angry, very few people have really ever seen me angry, let's just say you wouldn't like me when I'm angry, I don't like me when I'm angry, please don't make me angry, but ranting Greg, for some reason people often find comical, even if I'm being completely serious about what I am saying, go figure.) Well, when I wasn't doing that I was busy breaking things, strangely you would have thought that I would break things while doing these rants, but no, I broke the couch early in the day on March 18th, 2012, while being hungover from St. Patrick's Day and a little depressed from striking out with the ladies I'm sure, I decided to sit on the arm of the couch as to not to disturb our resident couch guest at the time as we tried to understand what was going on in the movie which we had come across entitled "Cotton Comes to Harlem":

and snap, my fat ass was too much weight and the leg breaks. However being the quick witted SOBs that we are a rock would replace that leg for the next 4 months until the couch was replaced by me, cause I'm also a considerate fat ass SOB. Before I get into what else I broke, I need to discuss this movie first, Godfrey Cambridge as Gravedigger Jones and Raymond St. Jacques as Coffin Ed Johnson two cops only a mother could love, yes, that happened, not sure what else to say other than that Redd Foxx was also involved and it has it's own theme song, and life as we know it was never the same, anyways... That wasn't all I broke, yes one day I was opening the fridge cause once again I'm a fat ass an was looking for food and snap one of the shelves on the door broke, still not really sure how that happened and after a few attempts at fixing, it was done for, this too I did replace, cause once again I'm a considerate fat ass SOB, and the jackass property manager sucked and never got back to us about anything, the damn toilet was broken pretty much the whole time we lived there, they made one feeble attempt at fixing it that didn't work. There were plenty of things that I didn't break while at Kilsyth, I didn't break any hearts, I don't think, and there was other stuff that got broken that I had nothing to do with, I mean, when your roommate owns a sword and you have a bunch of drunken idiots around, chances are something is gonna break, but hey, if all that sword broke was a ceiling fan pull chain and poor Sam Adams, and maybe made some marks on the floor and the doorway, then I guess it wasn't too bad. I can tell you this though I never broke anything with my staff, you hear me, nothing. We had our share of injures and falls while at Kilsyth, I'm pretty sure I got a concussion one night, did I already mention that, I can't remember, and many people fell, in fact I recall one night in particular were a certain individual fell multiple times, and while granted the first one he may have been thrown through a table by a girl half his size which he probably deserved let's be honest, the other 2 were all on him. There wasn't always good times at Kilsyth, I know I got bitched out a few times while living there and I'm sure I bitched some people out myself. We lost some folks along the way, lost some jobs along the way, lost a dog along the way, but hey, at the end of the day things were pretty good. I would also quickly like the mention the mantel, which was filled with the most random stuff you could imagine, a lot of which came from Dollar Tree, and somehow it went from being as ridiculous as it was to even more ridiculous based on nothing that we even did, let me explain. Probably the nicest thing that was on the mantel was an autographed photo of Aaron Hernandez, granted he was wearing his old 85 in the picture, but still, a solid item for the mantel as compared to the other items, so then of course I'm sure everyone knows the story by now, and it's still playing out, but based on nothing we did, that item went from being the nicest thing on the mantel to being questionable as to if it should have even been up there anymore. Now, one thing that could have been better were the other people the lived in the building, now most weren't terrible, but with the exception of 2, none of them were all that cool or friendly in the 3 years, granted could we have maybe reached out and been more friendly, sure, but we were the ones with the kickass porch setup, so if they wanted into the club, they should have came to us.

Now, there are many things that were discovered while living at Kilsyth, which while they won't go away with us moving out, we would have probably never discovered them unless we lived there and with me moving to Needham, not going to be frequenting them quite as often. The Saturday morning trips to Dunkin Donuts, the Sunday brunches at Cityside, eggs, the random nights at Applebee's getting served by Cosmo or the girl who hated cantaloupes cause it sounded like antelope. Fast Eddie making us whatever we wanted always in 15 minutes and calling us his friends, Ana Lucia's which was not actually the name of the place, but we never bothered to actually figure out what it was called. Chansky's, not really sure how to even explain the magnificence of this place, it is called a Market, but it's more of a convenient store, but yet it had everything you could ever want, with the one exception of hard alcohol, but you know what they had, dry cleaning and woven baskets for some reason which I never did figure out, they have their own T-Shirts and are currently celebrating 100 years. And of course, while there were plenty of bars in the area, and we probably could have gone to all of them plenty of times, we always seemed to keep going back to the place where everyone knew our names, well maybe some of them did, ok well mostly we knew their names, but regardless, that was of course Harry's. Pretty sure there was a stretch where if I wasn't on The Porch, I was at Harry's, this was probably when I was unemployed, but hey, I was still getting paid, so it was all good. Many fun times spent there, and not to say I can't go back, but it'll be a longer walk back to Needham then to Kilsyth, and that just reminded me of the infamous night I got locked out of the apartment, well, I'm not gonna get into that one now, if you don't already know that one and want to know, just ask me.

Before I finish this post and the sun finally sets on Kilsyth and The Porch, I just want to take a little time and acknowledge those that made this all happen, my partners in crime, Matt Lacob, Mike Grace and Matt Giorgio, if you read this, DID IT! couldn't have done it without you fellas, thanks. Also want to thank anyone who ever came to our apartment or The Porch, for a party or just stopped in to say hi, or any reason you had to be there and were a part of the experience that was the last 3 years.

Now, before I'm done I would be remiss if I didn't mention two traditions that started at Kilsyth and shall continue on, or at least I hope they do, cause they should. The first of which I actually wasn't even involved with initially, but as a tribute to Matt Lacob who lived at Kilsyth longer than anyone, it seems fitting, and anyone that has been to a recent party of ours may know what you have to do if this song comes on, either on purpose, or just randomly:

Anyone who just watched that better have been shotgunning a beer, this isn't amateur hour you know, cause if you are unaware, when that song comes on that's what you do, there may have been different lyrics that went along with it, but that's not important, like I said wasn't there when the tradition started.

Finally, and fittingly, a tradition that I helped start, unfortunately I have absolutely no recollection of this, possible cause I was way too drunk, or maybe cause I had a concussion or probably both, wait did I discuss this concussion thing earlier, still can't remember. Typically at the end of a party or long night of drinking, although sometimes just randomly during the middle of the party, whenever this song comes on the brooms and swiffers come out and it's time to do the Robot and clean.

Kilroy!

Kilsyth!

Thanks for the memories!

Blizzardy Blog

What up all you fine folks, been a while since my last post, but you know what, I'm here now and I got some time on my hands cause I'm gonna be stuck inside for a bit because of this whole Blizzard thing, so might as well get a post in.

Well, lets start off where we left off, last post, I said I was gonna try and watch every Royal Rumble prior to this years, well, that didn't happen, made a good run of it, but only got to 2004 before I watched 2013. But as they say, you should never start something unless to intend on finishing, so I am currently watching 2012, the last one left, cause well, I obviously watched 2013 already and speaking of which... Well, I was right and I was wrong, I was right to think that the safe money was on John Cena winning the Rumble and The Rock winning the WWE title to set up a rematch at Wrestlemania, and I was wrong about that being to obvious and it not happening, cause that is exactly what happened. I can't say that I'm surprised, however I thought it was a little boring to have those 2 guys win, I guess you could say that I was a little upset about it, but not as upset as one man was that CM Punk lost to The Rock, check out this story:

Anyway, Punk is fighting Rock in a rematch at Elimination Chamber, which I'm sure The Rock will win and then fight John Cena at Wrestlemania. Seeing as it is Wrestlemania season, that means guys are returning, Chris Jericho returned at the Rumble, Brock Lesnar returned the next night on Raw, Jack Swagger came back on Smackdown and then Mark Henry returned on this past Raw, and there are more to come as Triple H will be returning to TV soon to confront Brock for breaking Vince's hip, and then the biggest question out there right now is will The Undertaker be coming back this year for Wrestlemania, it seemed as if the plan was for him to return and take on CM Punk, but as it stands right now, it sounds like due to some injuries he might not be able to make it this year, which could cause a interesting situation as CM Punk would be left without an opponent. But who knows what's gonna happen. So, Elimination Chamber is just a little over a week away, so much like I did or atleast tried to do with the Royal Rumbles, I plan on watching all of the previous Elimination Chamber matches. This I have more confidence that I'm gonna be able to get done, as there are only 15 and none of them were as long as even the shortest Royal Rumble.

Next up, finally watch Ted, it was a pretty funny movie, might have been a little overrated, but certainly made me laugh a bunch. But the reason I bring this up is because this movie was filmed in Boston and there is one scene in particular that was filmed at The Hatch Shell, and strangely enough after the movie was over, I happened to come across the movie Blown Away, which also was filmed in Boston, and I've actually discussed at length in the blog before, weird thing is this movie also features scenes at The Hatch Shell, which got me to thinking, wait, are these the only 2 movies that feature scenes at The Hatch Shell and just by coincidence happen to watch them back to back. Well, I did some research and found that there was only one other movie that had a scene filmed at The Hatch Shell or atleast that I could find, and it was some gay independent film, and when I say gay, I mean that it's about some gay guy, but low budget independent film that noone has probably ever heard of, so not sure that should even count. Also, speaking of Blown Away, as I discussed prior, filimed in Boston, but I noticed this time around a scene that was filmed across the street from the Museum of Science under the bridge where the Green line goes, which happens to be right near where a buddy of mine lives and right by what we call the staircase to nowhere or bridge to nowhere, I'm still not sure, but crazy that I was able to pick that out. Anyway also featured in Blown Away for about a minute is Cuba Gooding Jr, who is the star of the 3rd annual Black History Month movie marathon. The final picks for what we are going to watch hasn't been decided yet, but I'm pretty sure that this movie will be featured:

Oh, so the Super Bowl happened this past weekend, and you can say whatever you want about the game, it was looking like a blowout until the lights went out, then the momentum changed and the 49ers came almost all the way back, just to come up short, much like what happened when the Patriots player the 49ers, but whatever, Ravens won, who cares. The most important thing about the Super Bowl was that we found out the truth about Jim Nantz. What truth you ask, well, everyone seems to think that Jim Nantz is the nicest guy around, but the truth is, he is an evil son of a bitch, just check out this website.
http://eviljimnantz.tumblr.com/
But you know, Jim Nantz wasn't always evil, he was a mild mannered guy until he met the Utah Jazz in a hot tub:

Ever since that day he has been on a vicious rampage to extract revenge on everyone until he murders all these guys, and you might notice that most of these guys have never been seen again, however one man has eluded him over the years and that of course is John Stockton. Jim Nantz is a merciless killing machine who won't and can't be stopped until John Stockton is in his grave. Jim Nantz was the one who cause that Black Out and he took out his rampage on the city of New Orleans, which hadn't seen that type of destruction since Katrina. Be aware and be on the lookout, if you see Jim Nantz don't try and stop him, don't attempt to approach him, just run for your life.

Ok, so the blackout at the Superbowl was kinda weird, but here was something weirder that happened the night before, getting ready to go to bed, throw on Ransom on showtime for some reason, well, I had gone into my room as my roommates were still watching it, I then hear them both yell for me to come back out, I come back out and they tell me to watch something. It was a scene where they are watching a news report about how when the FBI was trying to get involved when Mel Gibson was trying to meet up with Gary Sinise and give him the money and get his son, but it goes wrong and someone gets killed, anyway, while watching it, I notice a quick flash, as we go back and freeze it, this is what is on the screen:





MTI EMPTY FRAME

What hell does that mean? I googled it and it only brought up 2 things that both made reference about watching Ransom on Showtime and noticing it, one post from a couple years ago and one form a few weeks ago. My roommate then posted this picture on Facebook and our former next door neighbor liked it for some strange reason, which still haven't figured that one out, from what I can tell only like 5 people know that this existed, so why did she like it? Weird.

One last note, the other night just hanging out with the roommates we starting having a discussion about clowns for some reason and we decided that you can pretty much say any kind of word and just add "The Clown" to it and it works and is funny, try it. Giggles The Clown, Blizzard The Clown, Farty The Clown, Peanut The Clown, Handsoap The Clown. The only things that don't really work are just regular names, for instance John The Clown, not that great, also things that make it should like you are doing it to the clown, like Slashing The Clown, doesn't sound right. But anyway, try it and enjoy it and be safe out there, this crazy blizzard, which I'm refusing to refer to it by the stupid name that it was given.

Have a good weekend everyone and just for fun here's as my roommate referred to him "A Retarded German Guy Eating Candy"

Stop Drop and Roll

It's Wednesday, so it's time once again for a new blog post. So, what's going on? First of all let me start off by following up with a couple things from last week. First of all, watched like 2 seconds of the Lance Armstrong interview, it was lame and stupid, just like him, so I turned it off. As far as Manti Te'o is concerned, seems like it was the victim of a hoax, which makes him extremely naive and makes him coming off as a very dumb individual, which is probably better than the alternative, but not much. There is really no way for him to come out looking good in this. Plus, apparently he knew about it before he admitted it and continued with the lie for a bit before coming clean, which is still pretty bad. I still can't figure this whole thing out, but I'm already bored with it and don't care anymore.

Bruins are back, and that's fun, and what better way to start the season then a Saturday night game at the TD Garden against the Rangers, and well, Saturday is alright for fighting as Elton John once told us, wait,  Elton John, really? Ok, well anyway, with the two teams with the most fighting majors last year, you knew there were gonna be some fights, and there were:

Think Thornton won that one, and it was followed up with Campbell getting is ass beat, so no need to show that. Rematch Tonight, should be a good one. Or not, already 2-0 Rangers as I write this.

So, Patriots lost, which means the Super Bowl is meaningless to me this year. No excuses, they lost, plain and simple, injuries or no injuries, the Ravens played better, and that's that. But since the Super Bowl is meaningless now, that just means that we can all focus the biggest event of the Winter and that of course is the Royal Rumble. In preparation of this years Royal Rumble, I decided I was gonna watch all 25 of the previous Royal Rumble matches, unfortunately I started this a little later than I should have, a week isn't really long enough to get it done, but I might be able to do it. For reason I don't feel like explaining, I started with 1992, which featured the 1 and only time the winner of the Royal Rumble won the Championship, and well it was a fun star studded Rumble, which saw Ric Flair, who drew number 3 and lasted longer than anyone had up to that point and won the Rumble

This resulted in Ric Flair winning his first WWF Championship and one of his best interviews while he was in WWF:

The thing I never really understood about this was, why didn't they have him come in at Number 1, I think that would have been much more effective in establishing him as a champion, not that they really needed to do that, but still, if he's winning at 3, why not 1. They did it a few year laters with Michaels, although that one to me has an * on it, cause it was only 1 minute intervals instead of 2, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. I then watched the original one from 1988, which was only 20 guys and wasn't a PPV, and also was mostly Mid Card guys. Jim Duggan won that one. Then 1989, which was the first PPV and had Big John Studd win, but the highlight was the beginning of the end of the Mega Powers, as Hulk Hogan eliminated Macho Man, and they almost came to blows, before Miss Elizabeth calmed them down, few weeks later the Mega Powers exploded and that lead to their match at Wrestlemania V. Then I watched 1990, which saw Hulk Hogan win, and the big moment was when Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior met in the middle of the ring and knocked each other out. Eventually Hulk Hogan eliminated Warrior, that would lead to their match at Wrestlemania VI. And that's as far as I have gotten so far, still have 1991, then 1993-2012 to go before Sunday's event, might not get it done. But let's get to some predictions:

The rumor going around is that The Rock is gonna beat CM Punk and win the WWE Title, and John Cena is gonna win the Rumble and they are gonna have a rematch at Wrestlemania, but I think that is too obvious and would be a little bland. I think that CM Punk is gonna win the match keeping his streak alive, but then who wins the Rumble, well, I think that someone that's not quite as obvious is gonna win it and someone that could still use a push to be an established star, and that is Ryback, I think he wins the Rumble, and the Big Show ends up beating Alberto Del Rio and win back the title and they have a match at Wrestlemania, which leaves open plenty of different scenarios for Wrestlemania, leaves open The Rock vs John Cena rematch, leaves open the rumored Triple H vs Brock Lesnar rematch from Summerslam, which will probably start being built up soon. So what does that leave, well, Streak vs Streak CM Punk vs The Undertaker. Or I could be completely wrong. Either way I don't think this guy is winning, but he might win the Slammy for best song.

Have a good week everyone.

Nice Guys Finish Last....

....cause the assholes that were in front of them were disingenuous, lying, cheaters.

You know, I don't usually get on my high horse on this blog, but over the last few days some new shit has come to light and well, I got to say some things. First of all, Lance Armstrong, liar, I don't know what he told Oprah, and really, why the hell does he have to talk to Oprah? I want Jim Gray to interview him, like he did Pete Rose:

I'm sure it gonna get huge ratings or whatever, he'll try to spin it some way to make himself  look good, like Alex Rodriguez tried to do on 60 Minutes, but hopefully, they show all the times he denied using and lied to each and everyone of you. I personally never liked the guy, thought he was a blowhard, the whole livestrong thing and the stupid bracelets were annoying, sure they were supposedly for a good cause, but how can you trust that now, what did your dollar from buying that thing really go to, I have no idea, and I can't trust that. Listen, now it's become clear over the years, that cycling is one of the dirtiest sports there is in terms of doping, so maybe he wasn't getting that big of an advantage, but you know what Lance, have the balls to come out and admit you were wrong when you get caught, oops, that's right, he doesn't have balls, well still. Listen, it's great that he survived cancer and all that, but how did he get the cancer, maybe from all the dangerous toxins and drugs he was putting in his body, remember Lyle Alzado? But anyway, if that wasn't bad enough, then today's news comes out..

Manti Te'o had a fake girlfriend that supposedly died after being in a car accident from battling leukemia, um, yeah, what? Oh, and she died 6 hours after his grandmother died, then he went out and played a football game a few days later, looking back, this whole thing does sound made up. Te'o and Notre Dame are trying to spin this thing that someone was playing a cruel joke on him, but watch this interview with him back in October, starts at 2:25:

Um, what?, that doesn't sound like something someone would say about someone they never "met" I mean, does he think we are that dumb, or maybe he's just an idiot. I'm sorry, you "meet" someone on the internet, never actually in person, yet somehow they are you're girlfriend? Um, unless he was a desperate loser, which seeing as how he is a successful college athlete, I don't think he would have that much trouble finding a girlfriend. Plus what about the whole story that she went to Stanford and he met her after a game? This whole thing reeks. Was he trying to pull at our heartstrings, thought his grandmother dying wasn't enough? Is he gay and didn't want it to get out so he made up a fake girlfriend, then decided to kill her off. It's like that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine makes up a fake girl names Susie and then kills her off, remember that one:

This whole thing brings up a better question: You can just make up girlfriends? oh wait, that was another Seinfeld episode, where George pretended that the girl Jerry was dating was Susan and telling models at the club that she died, which was more true than Manti Te'o's story. Anyway, if we can just start making up stories about fake girlfriends and say they died to get sympathy, who is not trying that at a bar this weekend? Listen maybe he was duped and this whole thing was a big prank and hoax played on him, for what reason, I have no idea, and apparently he is very naive, and for god sakes man, once you find that shit out, come clean, maybe he was embarrassed about it or whatever, but still, don't wait until it's reported on deadspin, you idiot. I still don't get it, and I have a hard time believing he wasn't involve, just makes no sense, and it he wasn't, then good gawd man, you are a fool. Oh and btw, you were terrible against Alabama.

Of course this is all coming after last week where noone was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, cause all the cheaters started to make the ballots, Clemens, Bonds, Sosa among others, but because of them, certain guys that noone has ever suspected like Bagwell, Biggio and Schilling also didn't make it, cause you never can tell who is lying and who is telling the truth, there's no trust anymore.

Well, that's it for this week, I realize this wasn't a very funny or happy or uplifting post, but it is topical. I'll be back next week with something fun, I promise. Oh and hey, remember Danny Almonte?

Feel The Rhythm, Feel The Rhyme, Get On Up, It's Blogging Time

What's up all you blog reading sons of bitches, I'm back with more awesome randomness for you. First of all just want to say that I feel like I'm gonna try and make this a weekly thing. I know in the past I tried to do it daily, but I think I will burn myself out if I try and do that, so weekly posts are gonna be the thing, unless I feel really inspired one particular day and make a special post. Ok, now let's get into it

I made the announcement in my last post that I was giving up the bottle, and well, I've gotten mostly negative reaction from it, which isn't too surprising considering most of my friends are ragging alcoholics, but I usually strive on negativity, you tell me I shouldn't do something, I'm gonna do it just to spite you, especially if it's something that I want to do. I mean obviously if someone tells me not to cut my arm off, I'm not going to cut my arm off to spite them, but you get the point, I think, whatever, who cares, shut up. 9 days sober, straight edge.

Next up, NHL is back, so that's exciting, looking forward to some hockey, been a while. This condensed schedule is gonna be interesting, probably gonna have to sell off a bunch of tickets, so if you are interested in buying some, or if you want to go with me, let me know.

Patriots will be taking on Houston this Sunday, last time we played them, it was domination by the Patriots, so while I don't want to sound overconfident, I don't feel worried about this week. Of course I didn't feel worried 2 years ago in this very situation, and we all know what happened then. But as they say Any Given Sunday, which was actually a terrible movie in my opinion, other then the speech that Pacino gives at the end, it's not a good movie, but hey that's just my opinion.

NCAA BCS Football title game at the Orange Bowl which is really Sun Life Stadium brought to you by Discover, or whatever the hell they called it took place this past Monday. Alabama won again, not really surprised by this, for anyone who really thought that it was gonna be a game, come on, Notre Dame was completely overmatched, they never had a chance.

Justified started back up last night, one of the best shows on TV in my opinion, you should be watching it.

Now, it's time for this weeks random topic of the week. Some of you might recognize the quote that the title of this post is a take from, and that of course is "Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it's bobsled time... Cool Runnings! Ok, so then why am I bringing up a quote from a 20 year old movie about the Jamaican bobsled team. Well folks, among others it starred John Candy, and recently I was watching Home Alone, it was Christmas time recently, so it makes sense, and John Candy has what pretty much is just a cameo in that film, alongside fellow SCTV alum Catherine O'Hara. Now, a lot of you are probably thinking what the hell is SCTV, more of you have probably stopped reading this, and some of you probably just woke up after passing out from being hammered and deciding to check out my blog while you were drunk, but hey that's cool. Anyway, SCTV was basically the Canadian version of Saturday Night Live, It's a little confusing cause SCTV stood for Second City Television. Those of you that aren't familiar with Second City, it's a improve comedy venue/ team, but it originally started in Chicago, cause for those of us in the United States, Chicago is called the Second city, with New York being the first, cause at the time the city got the nickname it was the 2nd largest city in the US, obviously LA is bigger now, and they ended up opening one in LA as well. But, they also opened one in Toronto, cause at the time Toronto was the 2nd largest city in Canada, with Montreal being the largest, Toronto has since surpassed Montreal. Anyway, this show was the Toronto versions show. Anyway, John Candy being Canadian starred in show, along with others like Rick Moranis, Martin Short, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy and Dave Thomas (The comedian, not the Wendy's guy). Ok, got a little sidetracked there, where was a going with this, oh right, Candy, so I have decided to list the top 10 candies of all time, no wait, I mean top 10 John Candy films, wait both.

Before we start, just want to say that while Home Alone, Vacation, Rookie of the Year, The Blues Brothers and Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird are great movies, but since he only really does basically cameos in those, I'm not counting them, I'm also not including variations of candies, for instance, M&Ms are one candy, not counting all different kinds of M&Ms. Ok, now that we have that out of the way, want to give honorable mention to one particular John Candy movie, which while I have never seen it, needs to be mentioned cause well, just take a look at the Trailer:

Although, what the hell? They are missing a U Going Berserk - IMDB. And to go along with this movie, the honorable mention for candy is the Needham Bar:





You maybe thinking to yourself, what the hell is this thing, well, it's kinda like a mounds, which I hate, so certainly not on my list of favorite candies, but it's called Needham, that's where I'm from, all thought, ironically, they are from Maine, where I spend my summers and that's the only place I ever saw them. Now strangely enough, these weren't exactly like mounds bars, cause they had a secret ingredient, Potatoes, yup, you read that right, Potatoes, good old Maine Potatoes. Now with that out of the way, lets get to the list.

#10 - Canadian Bacon/Candy Canes

Ok, so now while neither of these things are probably anyone's favorite of either they both make the list for certain reasons. First of all Candy Canes, sure they aren't great, occasionally you might have one around Christmas time, but there you go, Christmas time, they remind of a Christmas, and well, Jesus is just alright with me, so they are on the list. Canadian Bacon, sure it's not a great movie, it's got kinda a weird cast, Alan Alda, Rhea Pearlman and Kevin Pollak. To top it off, it was written and directed by Michael Moore, yes, that Michael Moore, and you are probably thinking, wait, is this some kind of documentary, well, no it isn't, it was Michael Moore's one and only attempt at fiction, and while the plot was a little weird, sorta a precursor of sorts to the South Park movie with US vs Canada, it had it moments, but there is one specific reason this movie is on the list. It was John Candy's last role, so it makes the list, end of story.

#9 - Stripes/Skybar

Skybar, might not be the most well known candy, but I used to love these things, it was like getting 4 candy bars in one. You got, Caramel, Fudge, Vanilla, and Peanut. Ok, I'll admit, the peanut is kinda odd, it's not peanut butter, but like a peanut flavored caramel type filling, it was ok, probably my least favorite of the 4, but overall a great candy. Stripes is certainly a great movie and while you might be saying to yourself, why only 9? Well, this was more of a Bill Murray movie than a John Candy, so it loses points on that, but it is a great movie, so it still makes the list. Of course if it wasn't form Stripes, there probably wouldn't have been In The Army Now, so maybe that loses it points.

#8 - Splash/3 Musketeers

3 Musketeers is a great if you like chocolate, it's chocolate with a fluffly chocolate nougat in the middle, what could be better. Little bit a trivia on this though, you might think to yourself, why the hell is it called 3 Musketeers, well, originally it came in 3 pieces, one had chocolate nougat, one had vanilla and one had strawberry, similar to Neapolitan ice cream, but much like Neapolitan ice cream, people only really liked the chocolate



So, they got rid of the vanilla and the strawberry and then started dropping them from the sky for some reason:

As for Splash, once again another case where it's a great movie, but was more of a movie for someone else, in this case Tom Hanks. John Candy played his kinda do no good brother, and he also had some pervy moves, like the scene where he drops coins to look up women's skirts, good trick btw, just don't get caught.

#7 - Delirious/Kit-Kat

Delirious might not be that well known of a movie, but forwhatever reason I always used to remember this being on TV in the 90's and it had an interesting plot, a soap opera writer, who gets hit on the head and wakes up in the soap opera, where whatever he writes actually happens, and hilarity ensues. I forget exactly what happens, but I'm sure there is a lessen learned and then he wakes up from a coma or something, I don't really remember and don't really care, I just remember it being pretty decent and had an interesting plot. Kit-Kats, if for nothing else, it's on the list because of this:

 

Plus it's pretty good, chocolate covered crisp wafers in 4 pieces so I can break off a piece for my friends, ha, yeah right, I'm eating all four of those, get you own damn Kit Kat bar, you jerk. I should mention that I actually do like Kit Kat, cause if we were doing this just based on commercial jingle, certainly Mounds and Almond Joy would be on here, but I hate that coconut crap, so they are not, but just for fun anyway

#6 - Cool Runnings/Skittles

Taste the Rainbow, what can I say skittles are fruity and delicious, although I must say that their commercials have gotten weirder and weirder over the years:

 

But anyway, as far as fruit flavored candy, Skittles get the win in my opinion over Starbursts and whatever else there might be out there and there are lots of colors in the rainbow, much like in Junior's sweater from this classic scene from Cool Runnings

 

Ok, so maybe that scene didn't feature John Candy, but he is prominently feature in the movie, which tugs at your heart string, and it's a true story and a good movie for the whole family, so that's why it checks in at #6

#5 - Planes, Trains and Automobiles/Junior Mints

Now, maybe you are wondering to yourself, wait, Junior Mints over York's peppermint pattie, and yes it was a tough choice, given this commercial

Well, last time I checked, York Peppermind Pattie didn't save anyone's life in one of the greatest sitcoms of all time:

It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious, it's very refreshing. So is Planes, Trains and Automobiles, which is very arguably, the best movie John Candy was in, but the reason I only have it at number 5, is cause I feel he is a bit overshowed in this movie by Steve Martin, for instance when anyone ever talks about this film, it seems like they always reference this scene

But, no matter how you slice it, great movie, that heavily involves John Candy, so there you go.

#4 - Spaceballs/Reese's Peanut Butter Cup/Pieces

Ok, well, I couldn't decide on which I liked better, the peanut butter cups or the pieces, so I put them together as one, you got a problem with that, well too damn bad, this is my list and my blog, you want to do your own list, start your own damn blog. But anyway, you got your peanut better in my chocolate, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter and the world was never the same.

The world was also never the same once the Spaceballs arrived

I love this movie, and John Candy was great in his role as a Mawg, half man, half dog, Barf. I realize that maybe he wasn't the main star in this movie, it was more of an ensemble cast, but it's fantastic, and it does a great job of making fun of Star Wars. It also came at that awesome time in the 80's where it seemed like every movie had to have it's own theme song, and Spaceball was no different:

#3 - Summer Rental/M&Ms

I know, I know, M&Ms, those are boring, but you know what, who turns down M&Ms, now I'm just talking about regular old M&Ms, I know they got peanut, pretzel, peanut butter, almond, dark chocolate, remote control, mint chocolate, pancake, cinnamon, velociraptor, coconut and gingerbread man flavors, ok maybe some of those aren't real, but really you can't go wrong with just plain old M&Ms, and sure they have had a bunch of different colors over the years but I think Homer Simpson said he best when he said "So, I said, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end."

Summer Rental, great summer movie, it's got everything you need, beaches, sand, boats, water, a boat race, Joey Lawrence, the chick from The Goonies, what more can you ask for. This was John Candy's first real lead role, and it was a quality flick, and I certainly remember it as a kid, so there you go, if you are looking for a good summer movie, check this one out

#2 - The Great Outdoors/Milky Way

Milky Way, not the galaxy, but the candy bar is my favorite candy bar of all time, and I know by saying this I'm giving away that my top candy is not a candy bar, but that's the truth. Basically it's a 3 Musketeers Bar, but then then there is caramel on top of it. It's fantastic, and that's all I really have to say about that.

The Great Outdoors, another movie that pairs John Candy up with another famous comedic actor and Canadian Dan Aykroyd. John Candy is taking another vacation, but this time he's going to the woods and not the beach, and when you are in the woods, you often have to deal with some critters, and believe you me, I've dealt with my fair share of these things over the years

Now, you maybe thinking to yourself, didn't I see this somewhere else, well, you did, about 8 years later David Spade and Chris Farley would have a very similar scene in the movie Black Sheep, which is interesting cause John Candy was kinda the lovable fatguy until he died and then Chris Farley took over until he died. Not really sure if anyone really ever took over after that, there are some larger gentlemen in the movies and stuff, but then they always lose the weight and look weird, like Jonah Hill or Jack Black, I'm sure I'm forgetting some others, but I don't feel like the void from the deaths of Candy and Farley has ever really been filled, but whatever. Speaking of fat, this movie also featured a scene that was a forerunner to Man vs Food

And now the moment you have all been waiting for:

#1 - Uncle Buck/Swedish Fish

Ok,while I don't think there is really any argument that Uncle Buck is John Candy's best movie, Swedish Fish might be a bit of a surprise, so let me explain that one first. Swedish Fish are fucking delicious, I try and not use the F word often, but there it. When I was younger and had much better metabolism or whatever, I would go to BJs every summer before I would go to Maine and get a bunch of the huge boxes of Swedish Fish and just devour them. Those, Slim Jims and Mountain Dew, that would be my summer, very healthy I know, but hey, I was young and stupid and I was on vacation, so don't judge me. So, there it is Swedish Fish, so you now know that if you are ever gonna get me candy as a gift, that is number 1 on my list.

As for Uncle Buck, was there really ever any doubt, it's a great movie, a great character. Hell, they even tried to turn it into a TV show, but without John Candy it was really kinda pointless. So, with that said, here are a couple of my favorite scenes

  

Interesting, you may be thinking that you've seen this before, well,  it's not exactly the same, but certainly Austin Powers 3 used a similar gag to this. Here's another

Bug, what the hell kind of name was that anyway? Ok, one more

Oh yeah, Macaulay Culkin is in this film, bet you forgot about that, also the girl from Field of Dreams and the Mom from Field of Dreams, so there you go.

Ok, folks, hope you enjoyed this, I'm sure there are many people out there that are gonna disagree about this list, maybe not so much the John Candy part, but I'm sure there's many opinions out there about the kinds of candies, so let me hear what you think.

But one things for sure, we all want candy:

Another Year

Well, ladies and gentleman, another year is upon us and so it's time once again for a change. 2 years ago I started this thing, had a good run with it at first, but then things went off the rails, eventually ending in me retiring for the blog and lots of other stuff last year, then there was a failed attempt at a comeback, that wasn't so great, so what now? Well, it's another year, so let's give this thing another go at it. Why you ask? well, I will tell you, people who know me will tell you that I'm a very opinionated person, sometime to a fault, but I'm gonna tell it like it is, whether I should or not. Unless it has to do with my inner most secrets, that shit I keep to myself, whether I should or not, until they tear me up inside and... well that's my own personal problem, and I'm not here to talk about that, or maybe I am, I don't know, shut up. In addition to being opinionated, I am also very knowledgeable, not so much in the traditional sense, but with useless facts and information, in fact it partly earned me the nickname "Google" Greg, either because I would simply just know a random fact or would be the first one on it to Google it, it's fitting, I'll admit it. The problem with all this useless info that I know, I often feel the need to share it, one again, whether I should or not, so what better way to get all this opinions and useless information out in the open without annoying people or pissing people off or whatever the case may be, this is it, this is my canvas, rather than bore the masses, if you want to know stuff that I know about or want to hear my opinion, you can come here and check it out, and there it is. Furthermore, I also feel as though I may have some more time on my hands this year, which has been a problem I've had in the past with keeping up with this thing, there are various reasons why I feel this way, be it that certain people that took up a lot of my time over the last year are gone, maybe some of the people that I've hung out with a lot over the last couple years have other things taking up their time, maybe it's the current lack of an NHL season, or, and this is a big one, big announcement here, my shocking decision to give up drinking, more on this in a bit, but drinking took up a lot of my time, so without that, more time for the blog. So there it is, the blog is back, I hope some of you people actually read it and maybe you'll enjoy it, if not, who cares, I can look back on this someday with much fondness.

Ok, so giving up drinking, it was a tough decision, one that, much like keeping up with the blog again, I'm not sure will stick, but I'm gonna give it a go, been going strong over these last 12+ years, lot of drinking has been done, and maybe it's time to take a step back and reevaluate. I'm crazy like that, I've said it before and I'll say it again, much like Billy Joel, I don't know why I go to extremes, but I do man, I'm crazy like that, that's my friends call me fou.

Now, with all that out of the way, here's today's topic, some of those that are reading this, may have already heard my rant about this, and if you have, sorry, but I'm bringing it up again. When you think or hear of the songs, Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, Frosty The Snowman, Sleigh Ride, Let it Snow, Baby It's Cold Outside? You think of Christmas, right? Well, you might think of date rape on the last one, listen to that song again, you'll see what I mean:

Anyway, most people consider those Christmas songs, right? but why? none of those songs say anything about Christmas, they are simply just winter songs. Nothing in any of those songs says anything about Christmas, or Santa or Jesus or anything like that. Here's my point, once Christmas is over, those songs disappear, but why? It's snowed a week after Christmas, so why wasn't this on the radio:

I've seen a bunch of snow men around the last couple days, so why aren't people singing this song right now:

Ok, I get it, people are usually pretty sick of Christmas music by the time Christmas actually rolls around, so why would people want to keep listening to them after Christmas is over, well, that's sorta my point. Maybe we shouldn't be playing these songs as Christmas songs, keep the Christmas songs for Christmas, and then the rest of the winter play the winter songs that have nothing to do with Christmas. I realize that no one is gonna be on board with this one. I get it, once Christmas and New Year's are over, you aren't too jovial about Winter, unless you are into skiing or have a snowplow, you don't want a Winter Wonderland or to Let It snow, I get it. People aren't going MLK day caroling. Valentine's Day is about love, not snow. President's day has to do with a different guy with a hat, not Frosty, so fine, whatever, have it your way. But honestly when winter rolls around, I'm usually only thinking about one thing anyway: What am I gonna get?

For Chrimbus!

Yup, I'm back